Living with CPTST and DID is okay sometimes now, I’ve learned to manage it, I’m learning to live with it. This is my normal, this is my life.
Times get hard and then they get better.
Fathers day was hard again this year, but that’s ok and it’s over. I get very upset when I think about how I was cheated out of a father, how this man used an innocent child for his sick addictions. And how now he lives free, and I HAVE TO LIVE WITH WHAT HE DID TO ME !!!
How, he has been shown forgiveness and love, where I feel like my face has been slapped and because I seem like a well put together adult that I don’t matter. It’s hard
I wish those people who surround him could live in my shoes for just one bad day !!
Now I turn the page to a positive one, and this is what DID allows me to do … looking at the positive side eh !
I turn the page to my #1, my husband and those amazing men who make children’s lives better, who are true fathers, men who will truly leave a beautiful legacy behind, they do exist, I know many of them. Men who love their children as children, who play with them, who make them laugh and squeal in delight, men who teach their children what it is to be honorable and a good person.
I look at these children and tears stream down my face, tears of joy for them and sadness for me.