At the same time…
I HAVE GAINED SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much that the moments I feel loss, dissipate easier.
I have found my paternal family who has been AMAZING, supportive and loving and just wonderful, it’s surreal. I can’t believe how quickly we’ve gotten close, someone pinch me. I have reconnected with some of my cousins, connections that have been dormant for years. I’m happy I get to feel that connection with them again, I feel FAMILY !!!
Friends, I have a few AMAZING friends that to me are family as well. I have exceptionally strong bonds with a few exceptional people. We support each other, we lean on each other and I can talk to them about everything and anything. I have learned how to open up and be vulnerable THAT WAS HARD, and it’s still hard but my friends know me, they love me, they are caring, compassionate and most of all understanding. There is no inquiring to gossip, there is no expectations, just love and true friendships.
I still feel insane …. HA HA
but what is sane ?
I have good days and bad days. I have PTSD, I have a dissasociative disorder, I have fibromyalgia and that’s OK. It’s who I am and I’m ok with that.
I breathe, I love, I live my life, in truth and abundant LOVE.