The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.
Why is it that I feel and I mean FEEL, such remorse and even physical pain when I’ve made a mistake, a poor choice in life ?
Do you ever feel like you deserve what has happened to you, like karma is working in reverse ?
Maybe karma knew you were going to make mistakes in life and just stared early ?
I’m farrrr from perfect and I’ve hurt people along the way. When I’m reminded, the hurt and remorse is so strong and hard to bear, I feel fear, so much fear for my sanity and my life.
I do truly frear of what my loved ones think, and it is a prison sentence. So I stay in my house, I make sure people know where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing, how I feel (I don’t even know how I feel sometimes). I want them to know I’m not making more mistakes. I apologize and try to make amends for the hurt I’ve caused, sorry, sorry, sorry.
This is my life, so scared to commit mistakes that will hurt people I LOVE.
Today I’m reminded that I too have hurt people, I feel like a horrible person, unworthy of love and forgiveness. I deserve the prison sentence of my own mind.
Sorry, sorry, sorry… I feel it’s my mantra, sometimes.
Do you wonder if the child abusers feel this way ?
Why is it that we feel sorry for family devastation, sorry for who we are, even sorry for trying to find love and joy ?